Family trips with teenagers

I don't know how you feel on the weekend, but sooner or later the question comes: "What are we doing today?"

At some point, swimming in the same pool became boring for everyone. So I started looking for ways to make our family outings more varied.

Before I discovered the RheinlandCard and Ruhr.TopCard, it was very time-consuming to search for excursions on the Internet. With these two cards it has become much easier and we have really seen a lot.

But I've strayed from the actual topic. Until my eldest daughter was 10-11 years old, my job was to bring some variety to family outings. In recent years, the situation has changed fundamentally.

For a long time, the children played together a lot, watched the same programs, had the same interests and went to the same sports clubs. It was also no problem for both of them to go to the playground.

Now my daughter will soon be 14 and my son has turned 10. Their interests are slowly but surely drifting apart.

No matter how the children develop, it is important to me to maintain a trusting relationship with both of them, to know what is important to them and what concerns them.

Since the interests of both of them are becoming more differentiated, I am required to take this into account during family outings.

Over time, I have thought about the following strategies:

• Find common interests

For us these are:

• Swimming pools with slides
• Amusement parks
• Climbing parks
• Water-skiing
• Technical museums (Sinsheim, Nürburg, Binarium in Duisburg, Computer Games Museum in Berlin, etc.)
• Simply stroll through the city center of a big city.
• City trips
• Trips to the sea
• Trampoline halls

Since we have Cologne and Düsseldorf practically on our doorstep and the Ruhr area is not far away, we can get to a big city relatively quickly. With the RheinlandCard and Ruhr.TopCard we are able to keep the costs of family trips within limits.

• Give children enough space on excursions

If we are in a place where the two children want to do different things, we agree on a fixed meeting point or time where one has to wait for the others if he finishes first. I am often the one who sits at this meeting point and the children come to me when they are finished. (I always have a book or notepad for this)

This strategy naturally requires a certain degree of independence and reliability from the children. However, this can be trained and makes family outings with older children much easier.

• Take a trip with only one child

Every now and then I go to origami get-togethers with my daughter; the last big meeting was in Berlin in the summer of 2018. To compensate, we went on a trip with just my son to Phantasia Land near Cologne.

I also try to take different interests into account in everyday life. For example, I go for a long bike ride with my son, and the next day I go for a longer walk with my daughter. If my brother is away on holiday at a camp, my sister and her mother visit the House of History in Bonn.

• Finding incentives for less interested children

If it happens that an outing is only of interest to one child, I try to find additional incentives for the other child. For example, I went to a large bookstore in Cologne with my son to look for books that would be interesting for him (e.g. fast cars). Then my daughter and I were able to immerse ourselves in the books in peace. Later, I almost had to drag my son out of the store, the books suddenly became so interesting.

• To be a role model for the children

The older the children get, the more clearly you see that their behavior in many moments only reflects the behavior of their parents. What does this have to do with the topic of "family outings with teenagers"? In my opinion, quite a lot.

The more diverse the interests become, the more compromises have to be found. Everyone has to feel understood and taken seriously. In addition to my full-time job, household and two children, I work on database and web development and learn and read a lot on the subject. Time is tight, but I consciously make time for my hobbies so that the children see that their own interests should be taken seriously. There are moments when I openly say that I am currently immersed in the topic and do not want to be disturbed. Nevertheless, I am always approachable when children have something on their minds. Often it is a long conversation before going to sleep or a walk in the evening.

My goal is to convey that your own interests are important, but you should also be willing to find compromises.

Conclusion : The older the children get, the more variety there can be in family outings. More distant destinations can be reached. Children can handle more input of information and you get more feedback.

• Different interests can be taken into account during excursions with these strategies:
• Promoting common interests
• Enough space for the children on excursions
• Promoting individual interests through excursions with a child
• Creating incentives for less interested children
• Respect your own interests and at the same time demonstrate your willingness to compromise by example (role model function)

I hope that my experience can help you enjoy spending time with older children.